Christmas is rapidly approaching and it remains my favourite time of year, even here in Dubai. As if by miracle, Christmas trees have sprung up everywhere and shopping centres have adopted a very Christmassy feeling!
No, the A-rabs haven't all converted from Islam - it's a purely commercial thing. Their religious beliefs seem to go out the window where money is concerned and of course money is the name of the game over here. Little do they know that in making a big splash of Christmas, they're inadvertently honouring Jesus. So there!
They're even letting our good friend Sol Kerzner (you know - the nice Catholic boy) build a nice little hotel on their Palm island - just goes to show that its the almighty "Buck Uber Alles" over here.
We've put lights up all over the house and we have a tree and decorations and stuff. I'm already listening to Carols in the car at full volume. I have an album by a crowd called Shu-B-40 - a Danish band who have Raggaed-up the traditional carols and Christmas songs and they have a nice sunny feel about them. I guess there ain't gonna be no sleigh bells in the snow for us but we may just hear camel bells in the sand! Somehow a camel with horns and a red nose just doesn't do it for me, though.
The m*o*t*h*e*r*s are both with us and J is carting them all over the place and they are having a good old chat 'n tour type experience. They've been to most of the malls already and a couple of restaurants. We're planning a desert safari, a dhow dinner cruise and the big bus tour for them - the typical Dubai tourist stuff. And once they've done those things, there's not much else to do here so they can jolly well get involved in some house cleaning, laundry and dishwashing (dream on...). I keep telling everyone that it was a double whammy for me - I had to (1) visit the immigration department in order to arrange a visa for (2) my mother-in-law. Sucker for Punishment! Hope she doesn't read this - not likely, I don't thing she has the Internet.
Janene has procured a enormous American Butterball turkey. It will probably take 4 days to defrost and about the same to eat! She got such a big one because there weren't any smaller ones - with the Yanks (and Dubai expats) it would appear that bigger remains better and no one has ever heard of "less is more". (I must admit, I have no idea how less could possibly be more - simply far to abstract a concept for my overburdened brain. Bottom line is more is more than less is and that's how it's supposed to be and "ever more shall be so".)
Last month saw my long awaited Oman turtle run trip - close to 1 700 KM by bike over 3 days. We rode 850 KM the first day and spent over 14 hours in the saddle. Famous book: 850 KM on a bike by Major Bumsaw! We only saw 2 tiny turtles but the scenery and camaraderie were worth it. And the freedom of the open road on a nice bike with a bunch of buddies. I also got my Christian Motorcyclists Association half colours the week before the ride so that was cool too.
Work remains a problem with plenty of politics and insecurity. I continue to follow up international leads. Please keep praying. The only positive thing is that our office closes from 20th to 25th (a first for the company) and Eid begins on the 18th and facilitates 3 public holiday days in a row (a first for the tight fisted UAE government who normally force such public holidays over weekends so they can keep the expats working). Add that to the leave I've taken between Christmas & new year and I have 2 whole weeks off - Oh joy, heaven and bliss!
J is doing some drawing work for our company and is charging them a nice fee, which will certainly add to the Ball family Christmas fund. She's doing a fair amount of running around for it at present but its a job and its income.
I have no idea what I want for Christmas. I still have most of my teeth, don't need a dog or a red fire engine and am not supposed to eat chocolate.
"Dear Santa. Please bring me something nice, big and expensive. You know what I like. It doesn't matter if it doesn't fit down the chimney because we don't have one anyway. Just wheel it in through the sliding door. I'll leave the one in the dining room unlocked for you. What's that? You made a pre-delivery of a nice big expensive BMW 1200 GS last month in order to save room in your sleigh? But Santa, I'll need something to unwrap and enjoy on Christmas morning! Pardon? Sit on it, start it up and rev it a few times, you say? Oh, OK." I suppose the odd book or CD wouldn't go amiss.
I've already bought J a gift - it's a...oops...better keep quiet in case she reads this. If you are reading this, Merry Christmas Sparrow and wait 'till Santa comes. We're also trying to figure out what to buy the kids. We've got a couple of ideas but they're expensive ones so we're trying to come up with cheaper ones. We only have a few shopping days left so panic is starting to set in and with panic comes overspending.
I think I might put horns and a red nose on my bike and ride around on Christmas day making like a souped-up Santa (I certainly have the physique). This may, however, scare the local A-rabs who have never seen Rudolph, let alone a big growly Beemer impersonating him. Just got to figure out how to fit a Santa hat to my helmet. Could be fun, though, as long as I don't get arrested. And you never know over here...!
Well, seeing that tomorrow is my last working day, this'll probably be my last post for the year so allow me to add some Christmas tips:
- Don't overcook the Turkey - crunchy turkey just doesn't work
- There is no such thing as overdoing eating and drinking - it's Christmas and you deserve it
- In terms of the North Pole Treaty of 1604, Calories are automatically rendered harmless and ineffective from 12h00 on 24th December to midnight on 25th December
- If you're diabetic like me, double up on your meds and fool the glucometer
- Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we diet
- Diet is die with a t
- You must eat Brussels Sprouts because it's not Christmas without them and your mother would be happy. The more cheese sauce, the better they taste
- Wear a tracksuit - that way you won't have to undo the top button of your pants. Make it a dark colour in case you spill the gravy
- Careful how you chew the Christmas pudding. Although banned by the above mentioned treaty, some entrepreneurial dentist may have sneakily inserted coins in a misguided attempt to drum up festive season business
- If you aren't able to be in the first 10 places in the clothing return queue on the 27th, rather wait a week or so before you try to explain to a disinterested clerk how come you want to return that polka dot tie and those edible undies. (They don't fit just isn't an acceptable excuse anymore and you have to be more creative)
- Reindeer biltong is banned by the above treaty
Have a wonderful Christmas, remembering at all times that Jesus is the reason for the season, and a really great new year.
Blessings
Stuart, Janene, Casey & Gregory
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